I have been here before – once without knowledge –
a sharp sword to the gut my blood
Dripped as the candle wax molded what my heart then looked like –

The second time a stalled car in the middle of Daytona –
500 Uhauls, all failed to carry this pain away safely
Many may say that you can’t hear me – that it is useless to read you bedtime stories –
school you on life lessons – show you how to use discretion – But I am a natural teacher

And whether you come out natural or section c – neither Is important –
what is, is that you arrive healthy
Being wealthy is a concern of your mothers parents –
mine is that you have a pair of parents –
not that we pay rent instead of mortgage –

I need a schedule for my schedule –
Sleep comes like a rotating fan, a sprinkler, preparation I call it –
Not sure what to call you – a nickname I mean – we all use nicknames more than the actual

I smile more – enjoy life more, and it’s only month two –
Not sure why, but my sense of smell has increased, and I think I’m gaining weight…

Many may say that you can’t hear me – that it is useless to read you bedtime stories,
but I plan on having you come out the gate a raging bull, a gentle swan, wise and broken –
spoiled yes, and if you get fresh my beatings will have no expiration date –

I have been here before – so my optimism and pessimism that this will all be successful battle each other on a giant libra scale –

Your arrival date has you as a Gemini — Be prepared to learn about Geminye, starski,Big Mike, Uninvited, Godsent, Tre G, Mia X– etc etc etc –
all the poets with children – you need to have files on the parents and kids – in case you have to battle them on the stage in the future…. Not that I want you to write poetry, but while i’m teaching you to read and write, a stack of my old notebooks may fall from the sky and drop on you
making me snatch them up and say “now don’t touch these, these are for daddy”
while leaving them in arms reach

My own daddy lives in me- A demon jackal wagging ten tails
He says if I let him loose he’ll tell me ten tales about the positives of running away from you
How to suck the life out of your mother,
Leaving her bitter and willing to continue the life cycle that compasses and maps
are useless in finding a good man.
His persuasiveness and charm seep through my pores – but I dare not drink his neglect for his sperm-
Having a whale of a time doing lord knows
what I will be, is someone you will idolize,
confide in, hide nothing- even in your teenage years
tears will be on board when my bus of a body brakes down
my rule of thumb will carry us home

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